Chris the moocher came over this afternoon with a Domino's pizza. He shared it with Dory. He kept exclaiming that it was the best pizza he had ever eaten. Look, dude, it's a Domino's pizza. It's not like your eating a pizza directly from Italy. Some acne-prone seventeen-year-old boy made the pizza. Stop trying to rub it in my face that I am not eating your pizza. I don't care. Eat your pizza. Whatever!
I finally went into my room to escape the insanity. While in my room, he exclaimed, "This pizza is so decadent!" And then, explaining his large choice of word to Dory, "You know, like soft and wonderful; elegant and stuff."
Stuff? What the crap? This boy has no idea what he is talking about. Merriam-Webster says "decadent" means "1 : marked by decay or decline; 2 : of, relating to, or having the characteristics of the decadents; 3 : characterized by or appealing to self-indulgence." Maybe the pizza is decaying. Or maybe you're self-indulging yourself with your use of big words.
I cannot wait until I leave this place. To quote my imaginary Yiddish grandmother: Oy vay!
3 comments:
I ALSO have a imaginery, Yiddish grandmother! wow! haha. Just kidding. Honestly I cannot believe that people like him actually exist. Seriously Haylee, you gotta say something to him. Or at least give me his address so I can sick the Army on him.
So Hay, um, kay, I think that what we need to do is have you cook something and have Lyle and I come over (when they are going to be there) and eat and salavate over our food without offering him any!!! I believe it would be just wonderful...or better yet, Lyle and I could bring over the food, because, let's face it, you are sometimes too nice and might cave. This could be fun. We might have to put some thought into it. Hey, what is the policy on partaes??? Just a thought.
:)
Jo
Hmm. You know what's weird? I just realized my imaginary Yiddish grandmother is the same as YOUR imaginary Yiddish grandmother!!! Does that mean we're related!? No freaking way, that's SO cool!
As for Mr. Hubris, clearly he was describing his brain when he said "decadent," you know, a large decaying lump of tissue declining in intelligence every moment. He's a smart one, that Chris! Not to mention the fact that he believes in severe self-indulgance because such things as taunting someone as upstanding as yourself with a pizza brings him pleasure. The sick, sick man!
My point is that he views this little food thing as a game. And in a sick and really twisted way, he's probably trying to flirt with you. The best thing to do is ignore him and help him realize that his stupid little games don't mean anything to you. Don't get emotional, that will only encourage him. Guys are weird like that. If you ignore him and help him realize that his taunting means nothing to you, he'll eventually get tired and drop it. Trust me on this, I have six brothers.
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