Official College Student

I am an official college student as of today. Although I have been going to BYU for several semesters, it was just today that I was initiated into the official college student club. How did this happen?

First you need to understand Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I was up until 2:30am doing homework, planning lessons, and generally losing my mind. When my alarm clock rang at 7:30am, I thought I was going to die. But I pulled myself out of bed and made it to school.

The exhaustion caught up with me about 3:00, and by the time I made it to art history, I was ready for a nap. We were talking about Greek classical art, and although it is exciting, a girl can only hear about the bronze warrior statue so many times. As the professor droned on and on about how great the Greeks were, I closed my eyes and . . .

I jerked awake about five minutes later. I, Haylee Ferguson, fell asleep in class. It is true, and although it makes me wonder and feel bashful, I am not ashamed. I am now welcomed into the official college student club. Cheers!

Survival

Observation: People in dire situations drop all of their inhibitions in order to survive.

This realization came as the sun was barely peeking over the cliffs in southern Utah and as I was standing in a bathroom with two other girls. I was brushing my teeth, another girl was washing her face, and another girl was going to the bathroom. Before the latter girl proceeded to use the toilet in the flashlight-lit bathroom, she asked us if it was okay for her to go to the bathroom. I found myself saying, "Yeah, yeah, it's fine," and not even caring. But dire situations cause for dire measures, and the fact that there were two bathrooms for 11 girls was pretty dire. We were even in a better situation than the guys . . . at least we had flushable toilets.

The marvelous description above is only one small part of my natural history of vertebrates class field trip. It started beautifully--I was in a super-fantastic mood, my super-fun friend Amy was going with, and the 12-passenger vans were super-ready to run. Amy and I quickly migrated to the van with the TA, the good music, and the fun people. The drive down was fun and exciting, but by the time we were winding through the canyons, I was sick.

I stumbled out of the van after we arrived at Lytle Ranch, half car-sick and half excited. Dr. Cox instructed the girls to put all of the stuff in the double-wide trailer where we would be sleeping and the guys to set up their tents. After taunting the guys and receiving their jeers, Amy and I mosied to the trailer.

At this point I still felt car-sick, and Dr. Cox failed to mention that the trailer had been in the middle of the flood this past spring. I entered a bedroom, ready to claim my spot, but instead felt the dry heaves come on. The musty smell was so overpowering and so disgusting I had to run away for fear of puking all over everyone and everything. Amy and I finally found the least stinky part of the trailer and set up camp.

I cannot even describe to you how unbelievably horrible this trailer was. But maybe the following statement will convey how horrific it was: I was wishing I had brought my tent so I could have slept outside. Me. Haylee Ferguson. Wishing I had a tent to sleep in. Yup.

After hearing some western screech owls, the girls retreated to the trailer and the guys moved to their camp. Most of the girls proceeded to sleep, but I found myself bouncing all over the walls with Amy and a girl named Jill. I was one of those girls at girls' camp that you hate because they won't shut up. I don't know why I was so energetic and hyper, but we three giggled together for an hour or so after everyone else had gone to bed.

Morning came all too quickly, and soon I was in the bathroom with the other girls who were involved in the aforementioned activities.

We loaded up the vans and proceeded to travel to every single bird site in southern Utah (or at least it felt that way). After seeing a total of 57 birds, we decided it was time to go home. The ride home was uneventful (unless you count four spastic girls and one spastic guy acting out Phantom of the Opera in the back of the van as the music played), and now I am safely at my apartment.

I am now ready to go to bed. It was a pretty exciting experience.

Bathroom and all.

A Poem

This is the poem that got me 100% (!!!!!! The only one in the class!!!!!!) on my ento test. I think that it is quite beautiful. You will have to decide for yourselves.

Me thinks the Odonata I do not hate
Even though they have paleopteric, many veined wings,
They still fly just great.

Proturans are not purple,
So says my dear Aunt Myrtle,
But white and small instead;
We ponder: are they even insects?

The Coleoptera God loves best
Because they have such grand elytra
Even though their chewing mouth parts may be a pest.

And when scaly wings fly by
I see a butterfly
Or moth. Beautiful Lepidoptera!

But the best I've saved for last.
Diptera with a pair of wings and halteres.
We cannot even sneak past
Without crying, "VOLUPTUOUS!"

**snap, snap**

Translations:

Odonata=dragon and damselflies
paleopteric=old wings
Proturans=primitive insect (?) form
Coleoptera=beetles
elytra=hardened wings
Lepidoptera=butterflies and moths
Diptera=flies
halteres=shrunken hind wings

Observations

Because I do not interact with males, I have to be content with observation. This has led me to some very funny conclusions about the less-fair gender.

I was sitting in ento lab, and a male (we'll call Bob) announced his wife was pregnant with identical twin baby boys. We all oohed and aahed, congratulated him, and then got back to work. But there he was with his male friends in the back, high-fiving, back-patting, and generally acting barbaric. Yeah, Bob, like the fact that you're having twin baby boys is all your doing. Your "mighty sperm" was super-manly enough to produce twins. It's not like your wife's genetics had anything to do with it; it's not like twin births are passed down on the mother's side; it's not like chance could produce twins. It was all you and your manhood. Congratulations!

Saturday night I was at the football game, and I observed that every time BYU made a good play, three males in front of me high-fived each other. They smiled from ear to ear when BYU made a touchdown. Yes, gentlemen, it is all your work that produces these serendipitous results. It is a result of your high-fiving and good karma that makes the players do well, and hence you should celebrate when a good play is made. It's not like the skill of the BYU players has anything to do with it; it's not like the Colorado State players' mistakes had anything to do with it. It was all you and your manhood. Congratulations!

Males are interesting beings. That is all I have to say for now.

Random

I've typed my name a million times today: in the computer, on assignments, etc. Usually I am pretty quick, but today I have consistently made a mistake:

hayleeferugson

It's odd how even though we do certain things repeatedly, we can still lose it somehow.

Blog-a-thon

So here I am at work with nothing to do. Dr. Gardner is gone, the SEM students are nowhere to be found, and yet I sit here. I don't know why. Probably because I figure this is a great time to catch up on my blogging. I have been a super-slacker, but what can I say? Absolutely nothing.

And it feels good to be back to the old blog design. It's almost like coming home. Tender, huh?

So, I'm back!

New Roommate and Toilet Paper

I got a new roommate a couple of weeks ago, but I failed to blog it in. Anywho, we'll call this one Mel. She's super sweet, super clean, and quiet. I quite enjoy having her as a roommate, but there is something that is slightly bothersome about her that I need to get off of my chest:

SHE USES TONS OF TOILET PAPER!!!!!!!!!

No kidding, I have to replace the roll at least every other day, if not every day. Only heaven knows what she uses all that toilet paper for! The way she's going, we better all invest in the Charmin company really quickly because I'll be buying enough TP to keep stock holders happy and in yachts.

Other than that, I really do love her to pieces.

You Can't Judge All Books by Their Covers

I taught a lesson at Timpview today about food webs and energy flow. I was quite nervous, but I attempted to make myself feel more confident by looking confident. I wore pin-striped slacks, a white collared blouse topped with a brilliant blue sweater.

As I was preparing for class to start, a boy we'll call "Rufio" came in. From the way Rufio presents himself, most teachers would automatically assume trouble-maker. His tall and lean Polynesian body, his afro-like hair, and his gang-inspired clothing don't make him seem caring or polite in any way. But when he sat down, he looked at me and said, "That blue sweater makes your blue eyes stand out. They're pretty."

I was pretty much taken aback. I tried not to let the surprise show on my face, so I simply smiled and said, "Thank you, Rufio." He smiled back, and for the rest of the period, he was perfectly behaved. He paid attention, he did his assignments, and he was essentially perfect.

The students keep surprising me with their wit, charm, intelligence, and genuineness. The reason I'm going into teaching is to interact with the students. They are truly awesome individuals, and it makes me smile to think that I'll be interacting with them on a daily basis in less than a year. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Teaching biology rocks!

Whoops

As per some requests, I attempted to add links to all of your blogs to my blog, but it no work.

I also changed the template. I don't know if I like it so much.

Sorry I haven't been blogging much lately. I've been busy with nothing.

Sigh.