The First Week of School

I can't believe the first week of school has happened! It was almost like a crazy dream, especially the first day. The most problematic event that has occurred is that the copy machine broke last Monday and has been down ever since. We, the teachers, are about to throw a fit. No one has copies of anything. We're all trying to do without, but we're all struggling. The kids hate not having copies of things to read for themselves, but it's something they're going to have to live with until the copier gets fixed. Patience is certainly a virtue right now, and it's a virtue that's high in demand but getting lower and lower in quantity. Sigh.

So, Monday and Tuesday came filled with meetings and more meetings. Getting acquainted with the staff was a good thing, and getting acquainted with the school and its procedures was also a good thing. I arrived home Tuesday night, ready for my panic to fully set in, but it never did. The one thing I prayed hard for that night was to be able to sleep, and thankfully sleep came, something that hasn't happened in weeks.

Wednesday morning, 5 am, came early, but I popped out of bed, got ready, and headed to the school. I walked into the school. I was nervous. But, thankfully, I almost always pull through best under pressure. When that bell rang at 7:45am, Haylee the nervous, green, somewhat reserved girl turned into Miss Ferguson, the teacher. First period went by in a blur, and second period was much the same. 65 new faces to learn. 65 new personalities to learn and to teach. I was relieved third period was my class with Bastian because he took the reigns (which I was grateful to give up). I went to lunch, talked with the faculty, answered a million "How did it go?" questions, and detoxed. A4 is my prep, and I took the time to drink it all in, to reflect on my lessons and on my new job. My profession. My job is to teach these kids, and it isn't something I take very lightly.

Thursday morning, the first B-day, came, and I felt more confident. And the classes went well. I am going to LOVE my general biology classes. There are some interesting individuals, but for the most part, they are good kids who are willing to learn. I just hope I can keep their interest.

What have I learned this week? Teaching is so much harder than I ever imagined. I don't think anyone can really understand it until they themselves become a teacher. Student teaching didn't prepare me for the long hours at school, for the constant thoughts about particular students or lessons, or for the exhaustion I feel at the end of a day. Student teaching, though, did let me glimpse into the joys and happiness of teaching. The smiles when a concept is understood, the students who drop by just to say hi, or the student who believes that he or she can succeed in your class because you care. And I think that's really all kids want--to know that a teacher cares about them and wants them to learn. Do I care if my kids remember Schleiden and Schwann hypothesized the cell theory in 1838? No, but I do care that they remember that they are worth something and they were cared for.

I hope with all of my heart that I can be a good teacher. I want to be. Right now I only feel mediocre, and that scares me because I'm putting in so many hours and so much blood, sweat, and tears into it all. I hope that I can teach someone. I hope that they learn from me how to be a better person, and hopefully they learn to enjoy biology even just a little bit.

So, it's not over. I think this whole year in essence will be like the first day of school because everything is so new for me. But I love it already, I love the kids already. And that counts for something.

Give me a day or two . . .

Thanks for all of your support this first week teaching. It's been a whirlwind. I promise I'll write about everything this weekend. Just give me a day or two to find my head and put it on my shoulders again.

I am NOT a student!

I walked into the copy center today, and to my dismay, the fantastic copy lady wasn't there. But guess who was? Mrs. Sheen. So, I smiled, said hello, and began getting my papers ready to be copied.

"Can I help you?" Sheen inquired, looking at me suspiciously.

"Nope, just getting these ready for copying," I smiled.

She eyed me, and immediately I knew what she was thinking.

"Oh, no, I'm not a . . . I'm a new teacher!" I stated, taken aback that she would think I was a student.

"Oh, okay. What's your name?" The way she said it still made me think that she didn't believe me.

I stated my name, and a look of relief washed over her face. "Oh, yes! We've heard lots about you!" She smiled (finally).

She left and I went about my business.

I am NOT a student! I am a teacher! I suppose this will be the first of many times where people make this mistake. I really need to get my offical name badge so there will be no mistaking.

Countdown

14 days until the first day of school. 6 more days until new teacher orientation and all that good teacher stuff.

Deb, I hope you haven't told your brother how freaked out I am.

I've been working toward this day for the past four years, but it is so surreal that it is here now. It's exciting. I've been a bum all summer long--it will be good to get back and work and actually feel like I'm accomplishing something. And have something to keep my mind off of other things.

Friday is my last day at BYU, and I'm afraid the tears already flow pretty freely. Dr. Gardner and I just talk and talk all day long--we both know it will never be the same again, and it's like were treasuring up every conversation, every laugh. I'll miss his guidance, counsel, and comfort so much. I wonder what I'll do without him.

Oh, so many emotions are surging through me right now, I don't know quite how to cope with it all.

Joanna was right!

I was watching channel 5 news yesterday, and the weather girl Jo says I look like came on. It's true! Holy cow! If I hadn't known that I was sitting on my couch, I would have thought it was me on the TV. I think her voice is deeper than mine, but she is my long lost twin.

But not for long. I'm getting my hairs cut on Tuesday. It should be exciting!

Countdown

19 days. 19!!! I am having nightmare after nightmare about the first day of school. It makes me sick just thinking about it. Hopefully I have a caring mentor teacher who will tell me happy things and let me express all my concerns and fears.

There is SO much to do before then . . . I'll be at the high school every night I can possibly manage. Whew!

Remembering

Wash away the thoughts inside
That keep my mind away from you.
No more love and no more pride
And thoughts are all I have to do.

Tears of hope run down my skin.
Tears for you that will not dry.
They magnify the one within
And let the outside slowly die.

Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
I felt the ground and looked up high
And called your name.
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.
In the water I remain
Running down.

Running down.

--Josh Groban

Countdown

22 days.

Last night I spent a good couple of hours revising and perfecting my disclosure documents. They are truly a thing of beauty. I remember when I was a student thinking how stupid the disclosure documents were. My parents thought the same thing; my mom always signed them without reading them. But as I have become a teacher, I realize disclosure documents are good for maybe a couple of reasons, but there is one reason that stands supreme: to cover my butt. A parent whines because I won't accept their child's late work without a coupon? Sorry, you agreed to it when you signed the disclosure document! Complain that it's not fair your student loses all participation points because they used lab equipment inappropriately? Sorry, you agreed to it when you signed the disclosure document!

I was also writing about the course content for biology, and described it as such:

"The main objective of introductory biology is to introduce students to biology and to help them see biology in the world around them. Main content topics include ecology of ecosystems, cell structure and function, organs and organ systems, genetics, DNA, biological diversity related to evolutionary processes, and classification."

Then, to cover my butt when some parent actually reads the disclosure document and freaks out when they see the word "evolution:"

"All [yes, the word is bolded in my disclosure document] course content follows that of the Utah State Biology Core which can be found at http://www.uen.org/core/core.do?courseNum=3520. A copy of the Utah State Board of Education Position Statement on Teaching Evolution is found as the last page in this series of documents."

Disclosure documents. A thing of beauty. Mainly to save my bacon.