The First Week of School

I can't believe the first week of school has happened! It was almost like a crazy dream, especially the first day. The most problematic event that has occurred is that the copy machine broke last Monday and has been down ever since. We, the teachers, are about to throw a fit. No one has copies of anything. We're all trying to do without, but we're all struggling. The kids hate not having copies of things to read for themselves, but it's something they're going to have to live with until the copier gets fixed. Patience is certainly a virtue right now, and it's a virtue that's high in demand but getting lower and lower in quantity. Sigh.

So, Monday and Tuesday came filled with meetings and more meetings. Getting acquainted with the staff was a good thing, and getting acquainted with the school and its procedures was also a good thing. I arrived home Tuesday night, ready for my panic to fully set in, but it never did. The one thing I prayed hard for that night was to be able to sleep, and thankfully sleep came, something that hasn't happened in weeks.

Wednesday morning, 5 am, came early, but I popped out of bed, got ready, and headed to the school. I walked into the school. I was nervous. But, thankfully, I almost always pull through best under pressure. When that bell rang at 7:45am, Haylee the nervous, green, somewhat reserved girl turned into Miss Ferguson, the teacher. First period went by in a blur, and second period was much the same. 65 new faces to learn. 65 new personalities to learn and to teach. I was relieved third period was my class with Bastian because he took the reigns (which I was grateful to give up). I went to lunch, talked with the faculty, answered a million "How did it go?" questions, and detoxed. A4 is my prep, and I took the time to drink it all in, to reflect on my lessons and on my new job. My profession. My job is to teach these kids, and it isn't something I take very lightly.

Thursday morning, the first B-day, came, and I felt more confident. And the classes went well. I am going to LOVE my general biology classes. There are some interesting individuals, but for the most part, they are good kids who are willing to learn. I just hope I can keep their interest.

What have I learned this week? Teaching is so much harder than I ever imagined. I don't think anyone can really understand it until they themselves become a teacher. Student teaching didn't prepare me for the long hours at school, for the constant thoughts about particular students or lessons, or for the exhaustion I feel at the end of a day. Student teaching, though, did let me glimpse into the joys and happiness of teaching. The smiles when a concept is understood, the students who drop by just to say hi, or the student who believes that he or she can succeed in your class because you care. And I think that's really all kids want--to know that a teacher cares about them and wants them to learn. Do I care if my kids remember Schleiden and Schwann hypothesized the cell theory in 1838? No, but I do care that they remember that they are worth something and they were cared for.

I hope with all of my heart that I can be a good teacher. I want to be. Right now I only feel mediocre, and that scares me because I'm putting in so many hours and so much blood, sweat, and tears into it all. I hope that I can teach someone. I hope that they learn from me how to be a better person, and hopefully they learn to enjoy biology even just a little bit.

So, it's not over. I think this whole year in essence will be like the first day of school because everything is so new for me. But I love it already, I love the kids already. And that counts for something.