Observations

Because I do not interact with males, I have to be content with observation. This has led me to some very funny conclusions about the less-fair gender.

I was sitting in ento lab, and a male (we'll call Bob) announced his wife was pregnant with identical twin baby boys. We all oohed and aahed, congratulated him, and then got back to work. But there he was with his male friends in the back, high-fiving, back-patting, and generally acting barbaric. Yeah, Bob, like the fact that you're having twin baby boys is all your doing. Your "mighty sperm" was super-manly enough to produce twins. It's not like your wife's genetics had anything to do with it; it's not like twin births are passed down on the mother's side; it's not like chance could produce twins. It was all you and your manhood. Congratulations!

Saturday night I was at the football game, and I observed that every time BYU made a good play, three males in front of me high-fived each other. They smiled from ear to ear when BYU made a touchdown. Yes, gentlemen, it is all your work that produces these serendipitous results. It is a result of your high-fiving and good karma that makes the players do well, and hence you should celebrate when a good play is made. It's not like the skill of the BYU players has anything to do with it; it's not like the Colorado State players' mistakes had anything to do with it. It was all you and your manhood. Congratulations!

Males are interesting beings. That is all I have to say for now.